Spring River

April 24, 2019

The river is rushing loudly
with the insistence of Spring’s arrival
Snow melts to icy waters that fill these banks
and overtake these stones and sandy beaches.

It is enough to sit and stare
entranced by her hypnotic music and movement.

A watery green consumes my heart as I empty into her,
wordlessly begging for solace and reconciliation
but she doesn’t pause
or slow down
not long enough
to notice me

So I sit and wait
to find empty and listen
long enough to find my own way through
through the meandering crevices and bends
through the whirling waters splashing onto stone
Facing the fear and grief that is always here
that there is nothing we can hold on to

As I write this
my sunny perch on the rocks drifts into shadow
as the bright orange globe hides beneath the ridge line
and these few moments of warmth and light I’ve stolen in the early evening are also lost to me
but these words will linger
like the memory of so many things come to pass

It’s cooler now. And lonely.
I hold here
Knowing I can trust myself
to rest in this discomfort and longing
letting the questions and conclusions
and all the million other things in this world

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